What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?

Michal Oshman, a former Facebook executive, delivers in "What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?" a fascinating look at overcoming fear and finding meaning in life. Combining ancient Jewish wisdom with modern challenges, Oshman offers readers a practical guide to transforming their thinking and their lives. The following key ideas reveal the core of her message and show how we can live more courageously and meaningfully.

At the heart of Oshman's philosophy lies the concept of neshama - the Hebrew word for soul or inner drive. This idea has become central to the author's journey to self-discovery and overcoming fear. Neshama represents each person's unique potential, life purpose and inner flame. Oshman describes how she struggled with paralyzing fear for many years. She feared for the safety of her children, for the health of her friends, for failure at work. This pervasive fear prevented her from living life to the fullest. The turning point came when she became interested in her Jewish identity and discovered the wealth of wisdom hidden in ancient texts. The author presents readers with a series of questions for self-reflection: 'What gives your life the most meaning? In what activities do you feel best? Which thoughts or behaviors are unhelpful?" These questions serve as a tool for reconnecting with our neshamah and overcoming the fears that keep us from moving forward. Oshman also introduces the concept of kelipah - the obstacles that separate us from our soul. These obstacles can take the form of material desires, career aspirations, or social expectations. The author stresses the importance of recognizing these obstacles and overcoming them so that we can live in harmony with our true selves. One of the most powerful metaphors Oshman uses is the image of a "very narrow bridge" from the Hebrew song Gesher Tzar Me'od. This metaphor illustrates that the journey through life can be challenging and fraught with uncertainty, but it is imperative to keep moving forward. The author encourages readers to take courageous steps, however small, toward their true potential.

Oshman brings a revolutionary perspective on failure, inspired by her Facebook experience and Jewish wisdom. This perspective presents failure not as something to be avoided at all costs, but as a necessary part of personal and professional growth. The author describes the culture at Facebook, where the popular motto is "Fail No More." This motto is based on the belief that innovation and progress are only possible when we are willing to take risks and learn from our mistakes. Oshman illustrates this philosophy through her own experience when she got her first big project at Facebook. Under pressure of deadlines and expectations, she made mistakes in communicating with her team, which led to ineffective management. Although the project was eventually completed, Oshman felt she had failed as a leader. To her surprise, her supervisors congratulated her on this "first failure" and encouraged her to learn from the experience. This approach showed her that failure can be a valuable source of learning and growth. Oshman links this modern approach to failure to the ancient Jewish concept of shvirah, which means "breaking" or "breaking down." He quotes Rabbi Menachem Mendel Morgenstern: "Nothing is more complete than a broken heart." This profound idea suggests that our brokenness and mistakes are not only an inevitable part of life, but are crucial to our personal development and spiritual growth. The author suggests a practical approach to failure. After each failure, she recommends taking time to reflect: what happened? What did I learn from it? How can I apply this knowledge in the future? This process transforms failure from a negative experience into a valuable source of insight and growth. Oshman also emphasizes that accepting failures does not mean resignation or repeating the same mistakes. Rather, it is about learning from each failure and avoiding the same pitfalls in the future. In this way, failure becomes a stepping stone to greater success and personal development. The author illustrates this approach with the example of successful entrepreneurs and innovators who went through many failures before achieving breakthrough successes. For example, the story of J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, who was initially rejected by numerous publishers, serves as an inspiration for perseverance in the face of repeated rejections.

Oshman brings a unique perspective to the realm of leadership and management, inspired by the Kabbalistic concept of tzimtzum. This Hebrew term, which roughly translated means "constriction" or "retreat," comes from the mystical Jewish tradition and describes the process of the creation of the world in which God had to "step back" to make room for His creation. The author applies this profound concept to modern leadership, arguing that an effective leader must often "step back" to make room for the growth and development of his or her team. This approach is in stark contrast to the traditional, authoritarian leadership style that emphasizes control and dominance. Oshman illustrates the principle of tzimtzum through his own experience in leadership positions at Facebook. She describes how she learned to suppress her ego and natural tendency to control every aspect of a project. Instead, she focused on creating an environment in which her team members felt safe to express their ideas and concerns. A key aspect of leadership using tzimtzum is the ability to actively listen. Oshman emphasizes that true listening requires more than just silence - it requires genuine openness and a willingness to change one's mind based on input from others. This approach not only improves the quality of decision-making, but also builds trust and loyalty within the team. The author also introduces the concept of "one percent feedback." This approach is based on the assumption that each person is generally 99% right. Instead of focusing on shortcomings and mistakes, this approach encourages leaders to focus on small, specific areas of improvement. This method not only minimizes defensive reactions but also fosters a culture of continuous improvement. Oshman further develops the idea of leadership as a "mensch" - the Jewish term for "good man." He argues that true leadership transcends traditional notions of success and glory. Instead, it focuses on the positive impact we can have on the lives of others. This ethical approach to leadership not only improves outcomes, but also creates a more meaningful and fulfilling work environment. The author also emphasizes the importance of authenticity in leadership. Admitting one's own mistakes and vulnerabilities is not a sign of weakness, she argues, but rather a powerful tool for building trust and respect. She describes how her own openness about her struggles with anxiety created space for deeper and more authentic relationships with her team.

Oshman brings a fresh perspective to the field of parenting that combines ancient Jewish wisdom with the modern challenges of raising children. Rather than focusing on techniques and strategies, the author presents parenting as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. The cornerstone of Oshman's parenting philosophy is the Hebrew concept of chinuch. This term, used in the Torah to refer to parenting, focuses on instilling values rather than strict control. The author argues that the main goal of parenting should be to raise a child who is first and foremost a mensch - a decent, ethical person, regardless of his or her future profession or accomplishments. Oshman criticizes the current push for "perfect parenting," which often leads to anxiety and feelings of failure. Instead, he suggests an approach inspired by the wisdom of King Solomon: "Teach the child according to his way; even when he is old, he will not turn from it." This advice suggests that the role of the parent is not to mold the child to his or her own liking, but rather to facilitate the child's natural development and potential. The author stresses the importance of creating space for children to explore their own interests and talents. This approach reflects the concept of tzimtzum, which Oshman applies not only to leadership in the work environment, but also to parenting. Parents must sometimes "step back" to allow their children to grow and develop. Practically, this means that parents should emphasize character and values development, not just academic achievement or career aspirations. Oshman describes how she encourages her children to volunteer, what she calls "Vitamin V." In this way, he teaches children the value of giving back to the community and develops their empathy and social skills. Oshman also applies the concept of teshuva to parenting. Teshuvah, the Hebrew word for "return" or "repentance," encourages reflection and continuous improvement. In the context of parenting, it means being willing to admit mistakes, learn from them, and continually strive to be a better parent. This approach not only improves the relationship with children, but also serves as a powerful example to children of the importance of self-reflection and personal growth. Parenting is not only about shaping children, but also about personal growth as parents. Every challenge in raising children, she believes, is an opportunity for self-discovery and overcoming one's own limitations. In this way, parenting becomes a path to greater wisdom, patience and love.

In this chapter, Oshman openly shares his long struggles with anxiety and depression. Her personal story serves as a springboard to a deeper exploration of the roots of anxiety and practical ways to overcome it. The author describes how traditional approaches to psychotherapy, which focused on her childhood and family relationships, failed to bring lasting solutions to her problems. The turning point came when she discovered the work of Viktor E. Frankl and his concept of logotherapy, a therapy focused on the search for meaning in life. This approach gave Oshman a new perspective on her anxieties and opened the way to a deeper understanding of herself. Oshman argues that anxiety often stems from a loss of contact with our inner "flame" or life purpose-what she calls neshama in previous chapters. The author presents practical strategies for overcoming anxiety through the search for life's purpose. One key technique is regular self-reflection. Oshman suggests that readers regularly ask themselves questions such as: "What really fulfills me? What values are most important to me? How can I contribute to improving the world around me?" These questions help to reconnect with our inner sense of meaning and purpose, thereby alleviating feelings of anxiety and aimlessness. Another important element in combating anxiety, according to Oshman, is the practice of gratitude. The author recommends a daily exercise in which readers write down three things for which they are grateful. This simple habit can dramatically change our perspective and help us focus on the positive aspects of our lives instead of worry and fear. Oshman also emphasizes the importance of community and relationships in overcoming anxiety. She describes how her own connection to Jewish community and traditions has provided a refuge and source of strength during difficult times. She encourages readers to actively seek out and build supportive communities that share their values and goals. These relationships not only provide emotional support, but also help maintain perspective and meaning in times of stress and uncertainty. The author introduces the concept of "sacred space" - a regular time set aside for self-reflection, meditation, or prayer. This time serves as an anchor on chaotic days and helps maintain a connection to our inner self and higher values. For Oshman, this sacred time is Shabbat, a weekly day of rest in Jewish tradition, but she guides readers to find their own rhythm and form that works for them. Oshman also emphasizes the importance of physical health in coping with anxiety. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate sleep are not just clichéd advice, but the cornerstones of mental well-being. The author describes how her own journey to better physical health has contributed significantly to easing her anxieties. An interesting aspect of Oshman's approach is her view of anxiety as a potential catalyst for personal growth. She argues that our anxieties and fears can be signals that encourage us to change and grow. In this way, the path to overcoming anxiety also becomes a path to deeper self-knowledge and fulfillment. Overcoming anxiety is not a one-time event, but a lifelong process. She encourages readers to see this process not as a burden, but as an opportunity for continual growth and discovery. In this way, the struggle with anxiety becomes not only a pathway to greater peace, but also to a richer and more meaningful life.

Michal Oshman in "What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?" offers readers more than a guide to overcoming fear. She presents a comprehensive philosophy of life that blends ancient Jewish wisdom with modern challenges. From discovering one's inner potential to transforming one's perspective on failure, to a new approach to leadership, parenting, and managing anxiety, Oshman shows that the courage to live authentically and meaningfully is available to each of us. The book's key message is that fear need not be an obstacle, but can become a stepping stone to a richer and more fulfilled life. Oshman guides readers to dare to be vulnerable, embrace their imperfections, and continually search for meaning in everything they do. Her story and advice inspire a more courageous, compassionate, and meaningful life in which our deepest fears can become our greatest teachers and catalysts for growth. Do you have feedback for us? We'd love it if you let us know your opinion on our content! Just send an email to feedback@rewio.app with the title of this book in the subject line and share your impressions!